How to successfully navigate disagreements, miscommunications and misunderstandings with clients, cooperating agents, and your broker.
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Stresses and emotions can flare up at any time in the real estate world. When conflicts arise, experienced practitioners rely on clear and concise communication, transparency and honesty. Here's how three peers recommend keeping discussions peaceful and moving forward from conflict toward happiness for all parties involved.

Dispute Resolution Services

Your local or state association of REALTORS® offers three options for helping to resolve disputes: arbitration, mediation and ombudsman services.

  • Arbitration at an association of REALTORS® results in an award being rendered by a hearing panel after parties to the arbitration have had a full and fair opportunity to present their position and all facts involved. Hearing panels are typically made up of three to five REALTORS®. As a condition of membership, REALTORS® agree to arbitrate contractual disputes and specific noncontractual disputes as provided for in Article 17 of the NAR Code of Ethics.
  • Mediation is nonbinding and involves a mediator assisting both parties with communication in hopes of coming to a shared agreement. Mediation is the National Association of REALTORS®’ preferred method of dispute resolution. All local REALTOR® associations must offer the ability to mediate otherwise-arbitrable disputes. In some REALTOR® associations, mediation is required prior to an arbitration hearing.
  • An ombudsman can help resolve disputes that are transactional, technical or procedural and may not allege violations of the REALTOR® Code of Ethics.

NAR’s “Pathways to Professionalism” spells out voluntary courtesies that demonstrate respect for the public, property and peers. Following the 42 tips spelled out in “Pathways” will help you avoid behaviors that can lead to conflict.

With Clients

1. Preempting conflict.

Have an upfront conversation with clients to discuss what you offer as an agent and to understand their expectations. One of the most important skills in real estate is being able to listen and to ask clarifying questions based on what you hear. Ask what hours they expect you to be available and how they want you to communicate with them. It’s your duty, as a REALTOR®, to work in the best interest of your clients. That includes ensuring they’re knowledgeable about a host of details including how the market works, how you get paid, how open houses and tours happen, and how closings work.

2. Confronting conflict.

If an issue emerges, don’t let it fester. Have a conversation to acknowledge the client’s concerns. Ask, “What can I do to make it better? Should we revisit our expectations?” Document decisions to ensure mutual understanding.

3. Managing emotions.

What if a client raises her voice? You can say, “I see you are upset. I want to hear you and address what’s upsetting you.” Suggest taking a break until everyone calms down. Don’t match bad behavior. Be respectful. Find whatever you can within yourself to stay composed.

4. Moving past conflict.

Keep drilling down to what the real issue is. Once that’s clear, address it and move forward. If you can’t, it may be time to respectfully end the business relationship. Direct communication drives it home: “I will never be able to meet your expectations.”


Advice from Stephanie Walker, CRS, PSA, broker-owner, Stephanie Walker & Associates, Kitty Hawk, N.C. Walker also does mediation and ombudsman training for NC REALTORS®.

With Cooperating Agents

1. Preempting conflict.

Real estate is a relationship business. One great way to build relationships is to get involved in your local or state association. Attend industry networking events. Teach or participate in educational programs. Volunteer for committees. When you’re in a transaction with another agent, be transparent and stay in contact.

2. Confronting conflict.

Stay professional, even if you find the other agent difficult to work with.

3. Managing emotions.

You’re both there to serve the cli- ents. Don’t let ego get in the way. If necessary, separate for a while, cool down, and think about what’s good for everyone in the situation. You don’t have to like each other, but you have to remain respectful.

4. Moving past conflict.

Be honest and direct. Talk it out. If you can’t work out the conflict, get the brokers involved. If the conflict is within the same office, the broker should talk with each agent sepa- rately and then bring them together to talk about how things can be done better.


Advice from Amy DeBellis, AWHD, RENE, director of training and broker-associate, Prominent Properties Sotheby’s International Realty, Franklin Lakes, N.J.

With Your Broker

1. Preempting conflict.

Get involved in all aspects of the brokerage. Build positive relationships with other agents and your broker. Participating socially, making an effort to contribute to the overall good of the brokerage, and uplifting the company’s reputation all make a difference down the line when disputes occur.

2. Confronting conflict.

Many different types of conflicts can occur between an agent and a broker, including disagreements about marketing policies, office resources or educational support. Documenting the issue will help you provide the broker with a valuable reference.

3. Managing emotions.

A broker is typically dealing with many conflicts at the same time and will be able to best respond to an agent who is communicating in an objective manner. Consider venting emotions outside the brokerage to a trusted, objective third party.

4. Moving past conflict.

Get any decisions or resolutions in writing. If you reach an impasse, remember that the brokerage is a business, and ultimately you are (likely) self-employed. If you choose to leave the brokerage, without pointing fingers, let the other agents know you’re leaving and that you wish to keep up the good business relationships you have formed.


Advice from Liz Erb Firmstone, AHWD, CRS, professional and personal development coach and broker-owner, Firmstone Real Estate, Iowa City, Iowa.

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