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Your clients may sometimes have unreasonable expectations that make it difficult to do your job as a real estate professional. Some clients can be dismissive of your expertise, believing they know real estate even better than you, or disrespectful of your time and ideas.
Difficult clients, colleagues or peers are everywhere, clinical psychologist Bruce Christopher said during the 2025 International Builders’ Show in Las Vegas last week. “They can take many forms,” he said. “They’re energy suckers. They latch on to you and suck the energy from you all day long. … Professional burnout is rampant,” and often it's from having to deal with difficult people in the workplace.
Christopher is the author of Bambi vs. Godzilla: How to Deal With Difficult People (48 Hour Books, 2018) and has long studied human behavior in professional and personal settings. Oftentimes, “they do it because it works,” he said. “It’s a strategy and a tactic” to get what they want or to get you to back down.
But there’s a way to counter their spitfire or challenging ways: Surprise them, Christopher said.
“Do the exact opposite of what people expect you to do,” he said. “You have the ability to change the outcome. If what he is expecting from her is resistance or pushback, she can give him humor instead. It’ll disarm him.” Christopher said disrupting a difficult person’s behavioral pattern through your reactions could then force them to readjust their behavior.
On the other hand, “when you engage with a difficult person, you get pulled into the pigpen, and then you get all dirty—and it doesn’t work,” he said. “Don’t take the bait.” Take control over your responses, be proactive—not reactive—and disrupt frustrating relationships, he said.
Here are three types of difficult people you might encounter in the course of your real estate business.
‘Volcanoes and Bulldozers’
These clients may use power and intimidation to try to get their way. They embrace a “win” mentality and may be pushy to feel significant or important, Christopher said. The best way to handle a “volcano” personality type is to resist the urge to argue back. Don’t give in and don’t mock them, Christopher said. Leverage the surprise effect by:
- Doing nothing. Let them calm down as you remain calm.
- Trying the “feel, felt, found technique,” such as: “I understand how you feel. I have often felt the same way. I have found…”
- Lowering your voice, sitting down or changing locations.
Know-It-Alls
These clients have a desire to feel like they’re always “right”—possibly so that you’ll be impressed. “Knowledge is their security,” Christopher said. They tend to be “group dominators” and may seek the spotlight, he added. In leveraging the “surprise effect” on a know-it-all, Christopher recommends:
- Avoid falling into their trap by showing them that you know even more. Don’t debate them, and avoid pointing out their mistakes when in a group setting.
- Don’t withdraw into complete silence either—their behavior may escalate.
- Ask questions when you have them alone.
- Emphasize the importance of using individual talents.
Whiners and Complainers
These chronically negative people tend to point out how ideas will never work. “They feel powerless, and so they complain because misery loves company,” Christopher said. Try the “surprise effect” on the whiners:
- Stay positive, and don’t fall into their pity party.
- Listen with empathy but empower them by focusing the conversation on the solutions.
- Ask questions like, “What would ‘better’ look like?” and “How can we get there?”
Christopher offers a quiz on his website to test your responses when faced with difficult people, which includes tips on how to combat their behaviors.
