In a profession built on relationships, emotional intelligence is one of a broker’s most powerful tools. To be a truly impactful leader, brokers must develop a deep awareness of themselves and others. Technical knowledge and transaction management are only part of the job.
“When you lead with calm and clarity, you become a magnet for agents,” says Taryn Kelly, a broker-salesperson at Realty ONE Group Esteem in Liberty, Mo., and certified wellness instructor, who presented at a recent National Association of REALTORS® Broker Power Hour.
She outlined five key components of emotional intelligence that brokers can cultivate to create healthier, more productive office environments.
1. Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize your own emotions, triggers and thought patterns—and understand how they affect your behavior and decision-making.
For brokers, this means noticing how your mood and stress levels influence the atmosphere in your office. Do you walk into the office with a sense of calm and confidence, or are you frazzled and short-tempered? That energy trickles down. When brokers are mindful of how they show up emotionally, they can better manage team dynamics and lead by example.
“Be aware of your mood,” Kelly urges. “You’re setting the energetic tone for the entire office. If you’re stressed or disconnected, your agents will feel that.”
A self-aware broker checks in with themselves regularly and takes intentional time to reset when needed—whether that’s through reflection, physical activity or simply unplugging.
2. Self-Regulation
This is the ability to manage disruptive emotions and impulses. For brokers, self-regulation isn’t about suppressing feelings but learning how to respond to situations thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
In real estate, high-stress moments are inevitable. You’re constantly navigating various pressures like conflict with agents, client concerns and administrative challenges. When you practice self-regulation, you can increase your capacity to remain composed and ensure your response aligns with your values and goals.
“Your resilience—how you handle difficult times with grace and ease—sets the tone,” Kelly says.
Brokers can strengthen this skill by using grounding techniques like breathwork, stepping away for brief mental resets or creating quiet spaces in the office where they and their agents can decompress when needed.
3. Motivation
Motivation in emotional intelligence refers to intrinsic drive—the inner passion and persistence to lead with intention, even in the absence of external rewards.
For brokers, this means staying aligned with the mission of your brokerage. You’re the one who can keep morale high even during market downturns, consistent follow-through.
“When your passion shows up in how you lead, your agents are more likely to stay engaged and aligned with your mission,” Kelly notes.
Motivation can also manifest in the fun and camaraderie brokers foster—like hosting “steps” challenges, self-care bingo cards or team walks. These activities both lighten the atmosphere and reinforce the importance of wellbeing and shared purpose.
4. Empathy
Empathy is the cornerstone of trust. For brokers, it’s about more than simply listening—it means making a genuine effort to see challenges from your agents’ perspectives and responding with compassion.
In practice, empathetic brokers offer a safe space for their agents to voice concerns or vent frustrations without fear of judgment. This sense of safety strengthens office culture, reduces agent turnover and can prevent mistakes that happen when agents feel unsupported.
“Let your agents know that you’re a safe space,” Kelly says. “They need to know they can come to you—without judgment.”
Empathy also involves recognizing when someone needs more than a pep talk—such as professional mental health support—and encouraging agents to seek it when needed.
5. Social Skills
The ability to communicate clearly, build relationships and foster collaboration falls under social skills—arguably one of the most essential traits for brokers.
The list of broker-specific responsibilities that require social skills is long: managing team meetings, diffusing tension before it escalates, building rapport with both agents and clients, active listening, celebrating team wins, ensuring every agent feels valued and more.
Brokers with high emotional intelligence tend to enjoy stronger recruiting success and higher retention rates as well as smoother operations, Kelly says. They’re not just respected as leaders—they’re liked and trusted.
“A great leader doesn’t just lead. A great leader listens, reflects and grows with their agents. That’s how you build something sustainable.”
Resources and Solutions for Brokers
To help brokers build emotional intelligence and avoid burnout, Kelly offers a variety of practical tools and approaches:
Wellness Apps and Tools
- Calm App: Guided and unguided meditation, sleep support and breathing exercises.
- Headspace: Meditation and mindfulness with a focus on productivity and stress management.
- Insight Timer: Free app with thousands of meditations and courses.
- Gratitude Journals: Tools like “The Five-Minute Journal” to encourage daily reflection and positivity.
Office Strategies
- Quiet Rooms: Designated calming spaces in the office for reflection or mindfulness breaks.
- Wellness Challenges: Fun activities like step competitions, hydration tracking or “self-care bingo” with prizes to engage agents.
- Walk-and-Talk Meetings: Take team discussions outside to reduce stress and encourage open dialogue.
- Team Outings: Host non-business social activities to strengthen connections.
Professional Support
- Therapists or Counselors: Bring in professionals for group sessions or make referrals easily available to agents.
- Mentorship and Peer Support: Encourage brokers to form mastermind groups or peer circles to share insights and support.
- NAR’s Mental Wellness Hub: Podcasts, reports, toolkits and webinars on burnout, stress and leadership wellness.
Emotional intelligence isn’t just a buzzword. It’s the foundation for meaningful leadership in real estate—one that values self-awareness, fosters resilience and builds a culture of trust. Brokers who invest in emotional intelligence not only protect their own wellbeing but create an environment where agents can thrive.
