“Angry customers are more common today,” says Maria Pietroforte, CMP, founder and president of Maria Pietroforte Consulting. “We are in a period of change and uncertainty, and people don’t always respond calmly to situations.”
Pietroforte recently spoke to property managers during an Institute of Real Estate Management-hosted webinar on dealing with angry customers. She advises managers on how to read the heat of the customer, lower the temperature of the situation, and then recover and reset.
Maintenance issues, whether a broken appliance or poor follow-through, are among the most common causes of angry tenants. “People are paying for your product, whether an apartment or an office, and when things go wrong, temperatures go up,” Pietroforte says. Failure to address both the problem and the customer’s feelings can lead to an escalation of emotions from irritation to aggression. “Your response should match the level of risk.”
Read the Heat
Physical signals and behavioral expressions help agents identify early stages of anger. “Watch body posture, and look for signs of sweating or flushing,” she suggests. More obvious behavioral signals include shouting, fist-pounding or finger-pointing. Other signs include relentlessness and repeated interruptions.
Recognizing these behaviors early helps agents respond—not react, stresses Pietroforte, and to address the situation before it escalates to aggression. “Whatever you do, don’t tell the customer to ‘calm down,’ advises Pietroforte. “You’re just asking for a fight.”
“Physical aggression, threats, stalking or intimidation should immediately trigger a safety protocol,” says Pietroforte, who recommends having another agent join you, moving to a safe public space and, in extreme situations, calling 911. “If you feel threatened, end the meeting and take care of yourself and your team first,” she counsels.
Past frustration, fear, a loss of control or unresolved and recurring issues often shape angry behavior. “Small matters can trigger outsized reactions,” says Pietroforte, who identifies five common triggers of anger. “Familiarize your team with these, and remember the primary goal is to get to a resolution, and to make sure that you have a safe environment.”
Lower the Temperature
Temperatures rise for different reasons, including unclear communications, perceived unfairness, assumptions and biases, among others. Pietroforte stresses the need for a consistent response, regardless of the trigger. Start by listening, without interruption. Often, this is enough to lower the temperature. Pietroforte developed a C.A.L.M. Response Method:
- Control your first response. Lower your voice and relax your posture. Do not match the intensity of the customer’s behavior.
- Acknowledge the emotion, e.g., “I understand this is frustrating for you.”
- Locate the real issue. Get the facts of what happened and the outcome they seek.
- Move to next steps. Clarify what you can do (and what you can’t promise) and when they will hear back. Document the situation.
Recover and Reset
Unresolved issues can have a ripple effect on your bottom line. Bad reviews can lead to reputational damage, higher turnover rates, loss of rental income, poor team morale and legal exposure. Even situations resolved quickly can leave an “emotional hangover,” Pietroforte says.
“Without a reset, the last interaction carries over to the next customer or team member interface, says Pietroforte. She recommends a three-step reset:
- Step back and take a deep breath to lower your physical response.
- Write down the facts before emotions take over.
- Identify your next action and be intentional about it.
Debriefing with your team is a useful exercise. “Debrief the process, not the personality,” Pietroforte says. What went well? What needs follow-up? What needs documentation? What should we do differently next time? Look for patterns that suggest further action. For example, is this the third instance of a communication gap with your maintenance team?
Turn angry customers into loyal ones with appropriate follow-up. Send an apology note, make a small goodwill gesture, set a meeting to confirm satisfaction with the resolution, describe the steps taken to avoid a repeat, or offer to inspect the space to proactively identify other issues.
“Deescalation is not about winning the argument,” Pietroforte says. “It’s about protecting the relationship, the team, the property and the outcome.”
